His Faithfulness Through Fourteen Years

October 15, 2010. Fourteen years ago, God began Authoring a story through my life that I never could have imagined. Not the story I would have chosen, but the one He has used to deepen my faith, strengthen my character, and minister to others walking similar paths.

Fourteen years of learning to trust Him through treatments, surgeries, and the beautiful gift of three years in remission. Fourteen years of discovering that His Faithfulness does not waver, even when circumstances do.

These current fifteen weeks of side effects are not happening to someone new to this journey. They are happening to someone who has already experienced God’s Sustaining Grace through multiple storms, who has seen His hand at work in ways I could not have recognized as a newer believer.

I will not pretend this has not been tiring. Fourteen years is a long time to live with medical appointments as routine, to plan life around treatment schedules, to depend on others for things I used to take for granted. The weariness is real, and I have learned that acknowledging it is not a sign of weak faith—it is honest faith.

I miss my normal. I miss the energy I used to have, the independence, the ability to make plans without checking my medical calendar first. During those three years of remission, I got a taste of what that normal felt like again, and I am grateful for that gift while also hoping to return to it.

This journey has been especially challenging since losing Ed in 2022. The person who walked beside me through so many of these storms is now absent from this current struggle, adding another layer of difficulty to these fifteen weeks of side effects and upcoming surgery this Friday.

But even in the weariness, even in missing what was, even in facing this season without Ed, I have never doubted God’s Goodness or His Plan. This journey has taught me things about His Character that I never could have learned any other way. It has deepened my compassion and given me a platform to encourage others that would not have existed otherwise.

While I miss having Ed beside me for this current battle, I am continually reminded that I never walk alone. God has surrounded me with genuine prayer warriors, brothers and sisters in Christ who show compassion and caring through their faithful presence. They are living proof that we do not have to “do cancer on your own.”

The same Jesus who was with Ed and me through the earlier years of this journey is still with me now. His Presence has not diminished, His Faithfulness has not changed, and His Love continues to sustain me through each day.

The question is not whether God is Good—I know He is. The question is not whether His Plan is Perfect—I trust that it is. The question that sits with me is simply: “When will my normal return?” And I have learned that not knowing the timeline does not mean losing faith in the outcome.

I have walked with God long enough to know that His Timing is Perfect, even when it feels slow to me. I’ve experienced His Faithfulness enough times to trust Him with the things I cannot see or understand. This current season of side effects and limitations is not a punishment or a mistake—it is part of the journey He is writing.

As I prepare for Friday’s surgery, my prayer is simple and honest: Lord, whatever the results, help us find a plan for quality of life. I have an idea what that might look like right now, but I trust You KNOW. Whether it is a return to the normal I remember, or a new normal I have tried to imagine, I am hoping for something better than these current fifteen weeks have offered.

I am not asking for a specific outcome, but I am hopeful for an alternative to where I am now. I believe You have good Plans for me, plans that include not just survival but a quality of life that allows me to serve You and love others well. Help the medical team, help me, and help us all find the path forward that honors You and gives me reason to hope for better days ahead.

Jesus Christ is eternally changeless, always the same yesterday and today and forever. In that unchanging truth, I find my anchor as I face whatever Friday brings and whatever Plan appears from it.

“Come and hear, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me.” – Psalm 66:16